Getting Personal: My Current Thoughts3:00 AM
Hey Yall! I hope you're having a fabulous week and ready to kick start the weekend, I know I am! I got tax season behind me, but now I have the first quarter taxes to worry about. Yikes! This time of year is always the hardest, money wise since I'm hit with taxes twice. 😭
It has been awhile since I've done a blog post that is a bit more personal, like what is going on in my life right now and what I've been up to these days, so I wanted to share some things with you a bit.
I've been Feeling Emotional
I've been in my feelings y'all. Just been a bit emotional lately and disappointed in my biological father. Here's what has got me down about him.
A few weeks ago I was browsing through my personal Facebook timeline like I usually do and came across family photos of my father with other family members having the grandest time in Destin, Florida for spring break.
I thought to myself, so where was my invite to y'all event?
My father is now retired, meaning he can start making up for all the lost time he hasn't been in my life as I was growing up. Also, be there for his grandchildren.
It wasn't so much being upset about not being invited, moreso him not spending quality time with any of his children or grandchildren.
With my stepfather, he always was there for me, never missed any special moments, EVER! Even when he fell ill with cancer, with me being over 3,000 miles away, he still was there for the girls and me. He made the girls and me his priority.
I was having a talk with Mr. M about my feelings towards my biological father, and Mr. M shared with me that I need to understand that my stepfather was a good man and gave me a life I deserve. I can't change my biological father he is more for himself and not to let his actions affect me.
It's like I want him so badly to step up and be the father figure he is supposed to be, but I guess that's wishful thinking. This is why I love on my girls so hard, never letting them feel unloved or neglected.
My biological father can make up for lost times by spending it with his grandchildren, that would satisfy me. But instead, partying it up with his Memphis and New Orleans family is what's more important to him.
He played a huge part why I don't have a relationship with my mother now. Whenever she looks at me, she sees my father, and I remember her telling me she hopes I don't grow up ignorant like how my father is.
Parents walking out of their children's lives has a long-lasting effect on a child's life, feeling unloved, vulnerable, wondering what they did wrong. This kind of absent parents needs to step up to their responsibilities, or don't have children at all.
I don't know if I'll be making the trip to Memphis for his annual family reunion this year, but I may have second thoughts and go. We shall see.
And we'll see if he'll have the time to make it to Lauren's graduation, although I'm feeling a certain way about him, I'll still give him an invite.
Why Can't Kids Stay Young Forever?
Before our spring break trip, there was a parent night at Lauren's new middle school she will be attending in the fall to introduce the curriculum she'll be learning and making the adjustment from elementary school.
I'm sooo not ready for Lauren to be a middle schooler. It's like I don't want her to grow up, I want to shelter her forever.
Her new school is so huge as if she'll get lost in the crowd of teenagers. But she told me when she had a field tip before parent's night that she know her way around and for me to stop worrying.
No more kumbaya and holding hands like in elementary school, time for growing up into future leaders.
Lauren seems to be excited about it, she even joined the school band, and she's looking forward to being in a different school than Michelle for a year.
Me, I'm not looking forward to the separation. I just feel they'll start growing apart.
Here I go in my feelings again!
Oh yeah, Lauren and Michelle found profanity written on the walls in one of the girl's bathroom. LAWD!!!! There goes my kids' innocence! Couldn't the school at least painted over that?
Dark Hardwood Floors are the Devil!
Dark hardwood floors are such a pain in the a** to clean!!!
Before I bought my house, I took a tour in a model home with dark wood floors, and I was obsessed with it giving the home a luxury look. Little did I know that dark hardwood shows every speck of dust, and I do mean EVERYTHING!
I'm cleaning these doggone floors every, single, day!!! Several times during the day, even! And keeping up with the shininess is a stressful task too.
If you're thinking of getting dark wood floors, DON'T!!!!
When Blogging Goes Wrong
A week ago, Mr. M came to me and asked did I hear about a well-known fashion blogger who was arrested for credit card theft?
I told him yes I've heard and shared with him that there are some bloggers living lives they can't afford, just to display they're living the high-life to their followers.
The blogger that was arrested was a luxury fashion blogger, but in real life that is not the life she lives, so to keep up with the persona she created she had to resort to stealing.
With this blog, what you see is me. I don't play it up for this blog living a life all for show. I do travel a lot, love playing in makeup, always doing fun things with my family. I display my authentic self, and that's why my blog lasted for so many years.
I only work with brands that fits my lifestyle or who I use already like JCPenney; I always shop at their store for the majority of my household goods, so it is the perfect partnership.
I share more of myself on Instagram, like what my family and I are currently up to on Instastories. Make sure to follow along there. You even see me talking on there from time to time.
I Can't Live Without HGTV
I have an addiction, an addiction to HGTV! Something about that channel gets me in the zone of relaxation looking at beautiful homes that have been remodeled for a more updated look. Homes so beautiful, you wouldn't even want to touch or sit on anything, just admire the beautiful setting.
HGTV will have you wanting to knock down walls, go crazy shopping for home goods, and want to buy a vacation home in the tropical islands.
Yes, I keep saying I will show off the inside of my house. To me it doesn't look like the home designs from those tv shows or magazines, it's a bit underwhelming to be quite honest.
But as promised, I'll show you all soon. But you've been seeing bits and pieces of it on my blog pictures already, especially my kitchen since it's the place I spend the most time.
My Poor Fish is on His Last Fin
I need y'all advice on one of my fish.
I have a fish that has a bladder infection that has stunted his growth, and he can not swim, he lays on his side almost lifeless.
He has been this way for nearly two years now and just doesn't want to enter the heavenly gates above. He moves around swimming in circles opening and closing his mouth when its time to eat catching bits and pieces of flakes here and there. And the other fish attacks him by pushing and smothering, trying to keep food away from him since they know he is sick.
About a week or so ago, Lauren discovered one of his eyes missing! 😲 OMG!! Also, he is now blind!
This poor fish is badly deteriorating, and I don't have the heart to finish him off. The pet store suggested I flush him or even freeze him, but that's so cruel! But it's also cruel of me to leave him in the tank suffering from his disease and the poor treatment he gets from the other fish.
What would you do in this situation?
Every so often, I'll be doing these kinds of random updates so y'all know what I'm up to, how I'm currently feeling, and advice. I hope you don't mind posts like these.